Karen Demers

Stage:Stage III

If someone had told me 13 months ago that I was about to become a cancer patient and eventually a cancer survivor I would have told them that they were crazy. I admit, I’m not the healthiest apple on the tree but I do make an honest effort to take care of myself. In February of 2007 I was recovering from surgery for endometriosis when I noticed a new mole had appeared on my left calf. Due to my surgery I wasn’t able to bend at the waist to really examine the mole, but I kept an eye on it as best as I could. Once I had recovered from my surgery I got a good look at the mole and although it did not look abnormal in any way it was getting in the way of shaving my legs. The mole did begin to get tender and I just wanted it gone.

I called my local dermatologist and got right in to see him. He did a full skin check and looked at all of my moles and freckles. He asked if I had ever been to a tanning booth and I said that I had only been a few times. I was asked how much time I spend in the sun, to which my reply was “hardly any”. Then came the microscope and he examined my mole from every angle. I knew I was in trouble a few minutes later when he called in his partner for a second opinion. They both agreed that the mole had to come off right away. My dermatologist told me that he felt strongly that this mole was Melanoma and he didn’t want to waste any time taking it off. I believe his exact words were, “that mole has earned itself a trip to the lab”. The tears began to fall, fear began to set in and I remember thinking “this can’t possibly be happening to me, I’m only 28 years old and this doctor is telling me that I might have cancer”. Thankfully I have a huge support system in my family and friends, but no amount of comfort they provided could ease my mind. I was scared for my life. I was forced to come face to face with my immortality.

The days that followed were endless and full of tears and dread. It seemed like an eternity waiting for my pathology results to come back. Everything felt so surreal. It was as if I was in someone else’s body and this was happening to them, not me. When the dermatology office called me on the afternoon of April 6th and asked me to come in to the office my gut instinct told me that it was bad news. The doctor told me that my mole had come back positive for Malignant Melanoma and that I “needed more work” done to make sure the cancer was gone. He had already set up an appointment for the following morning with a general surgeon.

Upon meeting with the general surgeon I learned just how serious this cancer is. We discussed the surgery that I would need to have and the possibility for follow up and treatment with an oncologist. My heart was in my stomach. I just could not grasp the concept that someone was telling me I needed to see an oncologist. They are for people with cancer and I still hadn’t digested the fact that I had cancer in my body. Nothing seemed real to me. On April 18th I had surgery in which a large area of skin and nerves on my left calf were excised. I also had a sentinel lymph node biopsy which resulted in an automatic lymph node dissection. The surgeon noticed a suspicious lymph node during the biopsy and made the decision to remove a cluster of my lymph nodes “just incase”. When I had my 22 stitches removed from the 9 inch gash on my leg a week later my surgeon gave me the good news/bad news: The bad news was that the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes in my groin which meant that my Melanoma was a stage III. The good news was that the surgery removed all visible signs of my cancer. By visible, I mean that they could not be certain that all microscopic traces of Melanoma were gone from my body.

My recovery from surgery was nothing short of brutal. Due to the stitches in my calf I could not flex my foot at all so I had an extremely difficult time maneuvering stairs or even walking at all. I was affectionately called “gimpy” by my co-workers. The incision in my groin was even more difficult to deal with. Although the incision itself was not painful, my lymph fluid began to pool under the skin in my groin area. Since I had so many lymph nodes removed the fluid didn’t know where to go. I had a lump the size of a giant egg in my groin for 2 months until the fluid was finally able to redirect itself. I have never been in so much pain in my life. I was taking a double dose of Percocet and Ibuprofen and nothing was dulling the pain. I couldn’t wear anything but black pants because my lymph fluid was leaking right through my clothes and staining everything yellow. I honestly had people asking me if I peed my pants. It was so humiliating.

The summer of 2007 was a complete blur to me. I was referred to an oncologist at my local cancer center and also to a Melanoma specialist in Boston. My doctor in Boston concluded that my cancer was genetic – it was not caused by sun exposure. Many people think that only the sun causes Melanoma and I am walking proof that’s not the case. It was decided that I was not eligible for any clinical trials and the form of treatment that I would undergo would be Interferon. Just the thought that I would be receiving chemotherapy was mind numbing. All I could think was “they are going to inject my body with poison, this isn’t fair, my life isn’t supposed to be like this, I’m sick, I’m going to lose my hair, and I could very well die.”

My treatment regimen consisted of 4 weeks of receiving Interferon through an IV, 5 times per week. Once a week I would receive treatment in Boston and have my lab work done there, the other four days I received treatment at my local hospital in New Hampshire. My time on Interferon was no picnic. I was nauseous all the time, I had no appetite, the fatigue took over my life – I was sleeping about 18 hours a day and was still exhausted. I just felt like I had the flu all the time. By the third week of treatment all of the veins in my hands were collapsing from being repeatedly poked and prodded and my hair was beginning to thin drastically – the depression really began to take over and I often wondered if there would be a light at the end of the tunnel for me. After I finished my four weeks of intense IV treatment I was given a two week break before starting self-injection treatments at home. These injections lasted eight weeks – three nights a week I had to give myself a shot of Interferon. I was horrified at the idea of having to give myself a shot but honestly, when it could mean the difference between life and death you find the strength to do the things you need to do. I finished treatment on September 17th of 2007 and although the doctors are not allowed to use the words “cancer free” or “remission” when a patient completes treatment they all feel very strongly that this disease is out of my body.

At this point on I am being monitored extremely closely by all of my doctors and have routine follow ups with my dermatologist and oncologist. Most people think of Melanoma as just skin cancer but let me tell you, I know first hand that it is so much more. I only had that mole for about a month before it was removed and in that time it had already spread to my lymph nodes. I remember thinking “how on earth did this thing spread so fast? What if I hadn’t acted so quickly?” Most people who have cancer in their lymph nodes do not survive! Melanoma is the most aggressive, most severe, and most deadly form of skin cancer. For me, it is genetic. I didn’t get it from sun exposure. I couldn’t stop it and no one could have seen it coming. I was completely blind sighted by this whole thing.

It may sound corny, but as scared as I was through this cancer journey I always did my best to maintain a positive attitude. I believe that made all the difference. I never allowed the cancer to think that it would win. I was not going down without a fight. I refused to feel sorry for myself and decided for once in my life to see this tragedy as a blessing. I’m not going to lie and say that I am fine now. I’m still scared that the cancer will come back, but I don’t let it rule my life. I have too much living to do. I have been given a second chance at life and I am going to use this chance to bring awareness to everyone about this “silent killer”. I don’t want anyone to have to deal with what I went through. I am putting my efforts to good use to heighten awareness in my community. I was recently featured in my local newspaper in an article on skin cancer and promoting free skin cancer screenings. I am also participating in my local Relay for Life this year. And now I am getting involved in the Melanoma Foundation of New England.

For most people whose Melanoma reaches stage III and beyond, the outlook is rather dismal. Many don’t survive Melanoma. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I was given cancer so that I could use my knowledge of the disease to help others. I was extremely fortunate and I will never forget how blessed I am to still be here on this earth. I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I could be and I am finally learning to enjoy life. It is far too short and precious to let it pass you by.