Spotlight on IMPACT’s Worcester Area Support Group: Conversation with Kathy Manfield

There’s a lot to contemplate upon being diagnosed with skin cancer. The first concern, of course, is how to rid yourself of the disease. But getting there isn’t always easy, and it’s not always apparent as to how the path will look and, in some cases, where to even begin.

At IMPACT Melanoma we’ve cultivated a network of support groups of your peers that can help you navigate the waters of a skin cancer diagnoses, from the outset to post-op. It’s not easy “going it alone,” so we’ve designed the groups to be a friendly, comfortable environment to express feelings, ask questions, and share experiential stories amongst fellow group members.

Groups consist of both men and women with ages ranging from 30-70+, so the demographics are widespread, making for a broad swath of experiences and information.

One such melanoma support group exists in Worcester, Massachusetts and is run by Kathy Manfield (LICSW). The Worcester group meets once a month (on the fourth Tuesday of the month) at 7:00pm in a conference room in a local care facility located at 378 Plantation Street. Our meetings last from 75 minutes to 2 hours depending on the needs of the group members on any given night. If someone is interested in participating in the group, or just learning a little more about it to determine if it could be a good fit, they can call us at IMPACT Melanoma and we’ll connect you with Kathy. Kathy speaks with potential group members on the phone before they attend their first group so that she can answer questions, assuage, if possible, fears about attending, and help to determine if the group is right for them.

Said one member of Kathy’s particular group: “The group is a comfortable and safe zone for expression of feelings, fears and experiences. Most of my family is not able to offer me that kind of support, making these sessions invaluable to me.”

In order to get to know Kathy a little better and to learn more about IMPACT’s support group program, we went ahead and asked her a few questions:

What’s your personal connection with Melanoma?

I don’t have any personal connection with Melanoma, per se, but as a social worker, I believe in the benefit and power of group work. I was an oncology social worker for many years and had knowledge of the psychosocial and emotional challenges faced my many patients and feel this work is good work.

Why do you lead a support group?

I believe there is important clinical work that can be done when people share like experiences. I feel there is benefit for the group members. I also, however, find it to be professionally satisfying and interesting. There is a challenge in facilitating dialogue, in helping group members to find meaning in their words and feelings and in their responses to someone else’s thoughts or feelings.

What’s the importance of a support group?

People receive support from partners, children, parents, family and friends. Some have more supportive networks than others. No matter how strong the support, however, there is something unique about being with others who truly understand your experience, not because they have heard about it or watched you go through it, but because they have experienced it themselves. They know what tired really is. They know how it feels to be angry and hopeful at the same time. They can recall the moment of diagnosis and what it felt like and what it meant to them. At home or with friends, many patients feel concern for those who worry about them and have an inclination to take care of others. This does not have to happen in group. Group members can worry out loud, vent, think and wonder with others who may be worrying or wondering about the same thing. It can be difficult to put feelings into words. The experience of listening to others talk about their thoughts can normalize feelings others may have.

Much the same can be said about caregiver groups. Members of a caregiver group are also sharing like experiences — of having a loved one with a difficult diagnosis, the struggles of being a caregiver, of worrying about losing someone. Caregiver groups allow for sharing and venting and processing emotion and learning from one another, as well.

What do you get out of the experience of leading one of these groups, and, what do you hope others get out of the experience when they engage with the group?

Group work can be difficult. Listening to others can stir up emotion and weigh heavy. Initially some feel as though it is better to leave the feelings tucked away than to bring them to the surface. My hope is that once it is understood that it can be hard, members also feel a sense of peace and relief after being with their group. The member of the Worcester group feel like a team. They are invested in each other. They speak truth to each other. They ask each other the tough questions. It is amazing and beautiful and there is strength that you can feel in the room. They laugh with each other. Humor is a big part of the group, sometimes humor that others may not find funny! I get to witness all of that. I am allowed in to some intimate and fragile parts of life.

What does a “typical” session look like? How does it run?

Generally we begin with check-ins or updates since the last session. If anyone has had scans or received test results or had treatment or taken a trip or experienced a milestone, they share that. Most often, the discussion leads itself with one member building off of something another shared. Topics that come up include side-effects of treatment, new research someone had read about, things about their current status that family or friends may not understand, frustrations with a provider, and mainstream things like work and family. Occasionally we plan to discuss a specific topic which could include family, how to talk with children about their diagnoses or being followed more closely by a dermatologist themselves, how work fits in when you are in treatment or have a diagnosis such as this, end-of-life planning (which was a dynamic discussion that was not really a depressing discussion as some may think it could be). As we get toward the end of our time together, I check in about any upcoming appointments, or the like, that may happen before the next meeting.

Why would you encourage people to get involved?

I think that a group provides an opportunity, unlike any other in a person’s life, to talk about their disease, diagnosis, treatment, side-effects, worry about death, worry about self, anger, fear, concerns for family, in a place where it doesn’t make others uncomfortable, where thinking about these things is the norm. That is powerful. And freeing. And important.

For more information on IMPACT’s Melanoma Support Groups and/or to get involved, visit: www.impactmelanoma.org/get-support/support-groups